but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
