I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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