why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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