The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I love having hate sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
