I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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