and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
