that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
