can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
