told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
