you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think your dad took our porno
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
