I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
