her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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