I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
