I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
