im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
