Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
