Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize