no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
