I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
