Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
