READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
