I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
