3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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