idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize