I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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