she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
