We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im holly from the hills drunk
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i out mim tonsoeep
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
