wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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