it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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