I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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