me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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