South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
