go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
