i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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