Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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