I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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