I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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