I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
