super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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