Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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