I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
