call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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