they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
