at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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