If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize