so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
