dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
