Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
