Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His nipple licking is glorious
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