I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
