And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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