It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
