If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There are leaves in my underwear?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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