so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
