Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
