Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
