he wants to bone in the snuggie
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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