so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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