I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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