so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is Oprah even human
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
