Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize