So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
