Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
