I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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