Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize