You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
