At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
